


Autumn Leaves

by red_lasbelin



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: 3rd age, Big Brother fic, Dysfunctional Family, Imladris, Long Distance Relationship, M/M, cross realm romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 13:10:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1133046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_lasbelin/pseuds/red_lasbelin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haldir's first summer in Imladris.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nightcloud_kleshya](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Nightcloud_kleshya).



Haldir shut the door behind him, leaning back against the wood and closing his eyes. He had finished his shift, and he was ready to be home. He looked around the room, eyeing the unfolded laundry in the corner, the dishes piled on the counter, and barely disguised a sigh. The house looked like a storm had swept through it. He moved into the room and picked up a child’s small knapsack at his feet, pushing the books and writing tools back inside the leather.

“Mother? Ru? Oro?” There was no answer and he tensed at the apparent silence, but then he heard the sound of voices in the bedroom. A look inside the room revealed his mother sitting on the floor with his youngest brother on her lap, head against her chest. She was telling him a bedtime tale, and they hadn’t noticed him yet. Hal leaned against the door way and listened along. He remembered most of the story, of dragons and brave warriors and fair princesses and happy endings. It was his mother’s favorite, and he heard it himself as a young child.

Rumil’s head drooped, eyelids closing and his mother wound the story down to a suitable point where it could be picked up next time. She looked up, surprise showing at seeing Haldir there, and she made to speak. Haldir quickly gestured with a finger over his mouth as he moved forward to pick Rumil up off her lap. He was heavier than Haldir remembered, a combination of Rumil growing and Haldir at the end of a long shift. He tucked Rumil in the big bed and received a goodnight that was too sleepy to be excited, and then he turned to help his mother up.

She rose gingerly, a quiet laugh once she finally straightened. They left the bedroom, going into the kitchen before she spoke. “Didn’t realize how long I had been sitting there. Hello, my dear, welcome home.” She hugged him and he kissed her cheek in return.

“Thank you, Nana.” He moved to stack the dishes up and pulled out the washbowl from the cabinet. “Where’s Oro? I didn’t see him.”

“He stayed over with Bainien’s son tonight. No, no, don’t do that, I’ll take care of it. You just got back.” His mother fussed over him working, and Hal took a good look at her before he conceded.

“Let me get you some water then.” 

Their flet’s water system consisted of a holding tank worked into the design of their house, gutters directing rainwater into the tank. It was for washing dishes and quick bathing and cleaning, mainly. The laundry was done by the stream as were baths in the summer, spring and fall. There were talans with running water, but it was expensive and far beyond their income.

Haldir opened the valve and filled the pot. The stove was still going, embers glowing, and he fed it with fresh wood, enough to begin heating the water. He watched her stack the dishes. A plate rattled as her hand shook, but then she caught herself and continued on as if nothing happened. His heart twisted in his chest and he distracted himself with the laundry piled in the corner.

“How much of this is clean?” he asked, holding up a tunic.

“All of it, or should be, I had wash day yesterday. Ru still hasn’t learned that clean laundry and dirty laundry shouldn’t be mixed together.” She paused and looked over her shoulder. “Sit down, Haldir, I’ll take care of it. You need anything to eat?”

“You can’t take care of everything,” Haldir said gently. “And no, I’m fine, I ate before I returned to the city.” Truth be told, that had been hours ago, but tiredness won over hunger, and he was only picking his month’s pay up tomorrow. Whatever remained in their cupboards was best left for his brothers’ lunches the next day. He picked up the clothing strewn in odd places, checked their cleanliness with his nose, and folded the clothes neatly. He slipped in the bedroom where there were two dressers against the wall, the limit of their clothing space. Rumil slept on, not stirring as he neatly tucked the clothing away in the wooden drawers.

“How long until your patrol goes out again?” his mother asked when he rejoined her in the main room.

“Two weeks, Nana,” he said patiently. They worked in shifts, two weeks on, two weeks off – easy to remember, but she never did anymore. “I’ve been reassigned to escort duty, though I think I should request a dismissal. It’s several months and I don’t want to be gone away too long.”

“Don’t be silly,” she paused in the middle of washing dishes to look at him. “Of course you should go, why wouldn’t you?”

He passed it off as lightly as he could. “Because Ru and Oro would miss me too much, Mother.”

“And me,” she added. “I would always miss you. You help me so much.” She smiled at him, but her gaze was just a bit distant, unseeing. It was a common sight now. Haldir slid an arm around her waist, aching, and she leaned into him. “But you still should go. We’ll be all right.”

“Maybe,” he said, and picked up the dishcloth to help her dry the plates.

\------

 

After she went to bed, Hal finished cleaning the house. When he was done, he came and sat outside, on the walkway connecting one housing tree to another. It was quite late, but he didn’t need to be up too early and couldn’t sleep anyway. His legs dangled off the bound wood – living in Lorien meant early on one learned not to be afraid of heights.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go to Imladris. He’d never been to the realm before, and he had never been out of the Lorien forest. But he knew better than to leave. He would not leave his mother alone with the boys and he was loathe to ask anyone else for help.

Since his father died, life had its difficulties, but they managed to get by. His mother had never been the same after, but Haldir and his brothers learned how to handle her. He worried for Orophin and Rumil - they were young, their mother needed care, and Haldir’s much-needed job took him away for long periods of time. The only other alternative to this life was their mother sailing. Lady Galadriel had said if she grew worse, Valinor was still an option for her, but Haldir was determined to do his best. He knew his father wouldn’t be out of the Halls of Mandos for some time, and he couldn’t stand the thought of his mother alone in Valinor.

They were making ends meet, but only just. His mother made some coppers from her washing, but their main income was what Haldir brought home. Rumil and Orophin’s schooling was free, but the supplies were not. They owned their home, at least; their father had purchased it before he asked for their mother’s hand. It was suitable for a new couple, but as their family had expanded, they had long since outgrown the two-room flet. Hal was still a junior warden, and it would be some time before they could afford to move elsewhere. It was one of the reasons he was hesitant to turn this offer down – he could prove himself capable of bigger and better things, his pay would increase and his family’s life be better. It was time to swallow his pride and ask for help.

\------

 

Calen was a longtime friend of Haldir’s, they had shared a study table during much of his school years. They’d gotten into many adventures and just as many scrapes, but their paths split after the time for book learning had passed. Haldir had followed his father’s path, while Calen had gone the way of the smithy, earning an apprenticeship straight after his studies ended. They spent far less time together, due to their work, but the strong friendship remained.

Haldir still considered Calen his best friend and trusted him, which was why the next morning, he made the trek to the Copper Swan. He was greeted with a cheery hello, having been to the smithy often through visits and business, and they pointed him in the direction of Calen, who was in the back, working on forging a sword. He worked the metal skillfully and Haldir watched with interest.

Calen finished one stage of shaping the sword before he dunked it into a barrel full of water to cool the metal. “Give me five minutes,” he said, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

“Meet you outside,” Hal replied, grateful to get out of the heat. The back of the smithy was open to the air on one side, but still quite hot. He stood there for a while, watching the people pass by before Calen joined him.

“Wondered when you’d get back,” he was told as Calen clapped a hand on his shoulder in greeting.

“I just got in last night. Collected my pay and I need to bring some food home, but I wanted to talk to you first.”

“Oh?” Calen raised an eyebrow. Possessed of average good looks, he was more sturdily built than most elves and was teased for it badly during school. He put it to good use in his occupation, and the blue eyes that looked out of an ash-smeared face were kind. “What do you need?”

Haldir hadn’t meant to go about it so directly, but it was probably best to get it over with. He hated asking for help, even from friends, and he’d been told his pride would get him into trouble one of these days. He squared his shoulders and made the best of it. “Actually I came to ask for your help.”

“Really?” Calen grinned good-naturedly. “Quick, we need to get some record of this, make it official.”

“Yes, yes, I know, signed and dated in blood,” Haldir waved a hand dismissively, this was not the first time he’d been teased. “I’ve been called to go to Imladris, escorting Lady Celebrían back home. Expecting to pick up some cross-realm training as well, it could go well towards a future promotion.”

“That’s really great, Hal.” His answer was quick and enthusiastic, but Haldir could see Calen didn’t fully understand the help aspect at first. He waited a moment and then watched as comprehension sunk in. “Your mother.”

“Yes,” Haldir said simply. “My mother. I’ve not left her with Orophin and Rumil for longer than two weeks at a time, and I’m looking at three months, more likely four.” He was brief, not showing the worry he felt at the thought of going away that long, but his friend sensed it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll look in on her and the boys while you’re gone. You’re meant to do this, it’ll be good for you.”

“I hope so,” Haldir replied, still caught up in the idea of leaving his family behind.

“It will, and everything will be fine. You might even get laid while you’re gone, and Yavanna knows you need that.” Calen said cheekily. 

“Oh be quiet. All that soot is going to your head, addled what little brains you have,” Haldir retorted, feeling at ease and a little less burdened by the near future. Calen always did that for him.

“At least I’ll still have more than what you had to begin with.” Quick with a response, Calen nevertheless sobered. “I’ll look after them. You can go, they’ll be safe. I mean it, I’ll do my best.”

Haldir closed his eyes briefly, drawing a deep breath before looking at him. “Thank you,” he said quietly, heartfelt and humbled.

Calen took it all in, made no comment save reaching for a quick, tight hug. They withdrew and there was a beat of silence before Haldir broke it with a complaint. “How come whenever I see you, I always wind up getting dirty?”

“Did no one tell you getting dirty is half the fun?”

“Not with you, you ass,” Haldir replied, making a face.

Calen just laughed before he disappeared back into the smithy.

\------

 

It was late afternoon when Hal finally returned home. He was burdened with food and supplies, so he was very grateful to catch sight of his brothers at the bottom of the long, winding stairs that encircled the mallorn tree on which their flet resided. They were just out of school for the day; Orophin had Rumil by the hand, and they both were wearing their book satchels.

“Hey, come here, help me with these,” he called, and they both looked up. Rumil broke into a smile and ran to him, and Orophin followed long-sufferingly behind him. 

“Hal!” Rumil yelled, arms raised, the universal sign for wanting to be held. Haldir set down his bags and picked him up.

“Hello there. You miss me?” He grinned as Rumil launched into happy chatter about his day and the frog he found at the table outside during lunch. He shifted Rumil onto his hip to free a hand and reached for his bags. Orophin helped him and took a few of the bags for himself, rolling his eyes at Haldir.

“He’s been like that all the way back, he won’t shut up.”

“Well, I can’t help it my day was better than yours,” Rumil stuck out his tongue.

“What is so darn special about a frog?” Orophin said with the confidence of a teenager already quite beyond his years.

Haldir interrupted before a battle started. “I think finding the frog is very cool, Ru,” he soothed, “and thank you for walking him back home, Oro. How was Mother this morning?”

“I took Ru to school too. Mother was very excited about you being home, but she wore herself out and had to go back to bed.” Orophin started climbing the stairs. “What did you get?”

“A little of everything, the cupboards were pretty bare,” Haldir observed.

Rumil looked up at him, arms around his neck and shoulder. “Breakfast was awful. Oatmeal. Again. But no fruit or nuts or honey or anything! Just plain oatmeal.”

“You’re so dramatic,” Orophin shook his head.

“Well, I’ll make you a proper breakfast tomorrow, how’s that sound?” Haldir smiled at him, giving him an extra squeeze.

“Proper?” Rumil echoed, suspicious. “Will it have bacon?”

“Oh yes, it will have bacon, I promise,” Haldir laughed. “As much bacon as you can put in that belly of yours.”

“Well, you must have gotten a lot of bacon then, because I can eat a LOT.”

\------

 

After dinner their mother cleaned the dishes, then left to pick up work from a neighbor. Haldir helped Orophin with his numbers and promised to dazzle Rumil with tales of the wild forest outside of Lorien. When he tucked Rumil into the big bed, he fulfilled his promise of a bedtime story, leaving his brother almost on the edge of the mattress with eyes very wide. When he finished, Rumil was nearing sleep, but visibly resisting.

“What’s on your mind, Ru?”

Rumil fidgeted before he finally spoke up. “Nana says you’re going away.”

Haldir sighed deeply, before lying on the bed, looking down at Rumil. “I need to go, my captain assigned me,” he explained.

“Where is it? How long will you be gone? Can I go?”

“No, little frog-catcher, you can’t come with me.” Haldir smiled. “At least not this time, maybe when you’re a little bit older. And it’s Imladris, you know, where Lady Celebrían and her family lives? And Lord Elrond.”

“Oh yes, I know about that, we learned about it in school. Imladris, the mortals call it Rivendell and then there’s also Mirkwood, which didn’t used to be called that.”

“Yes, you’re right. I’m proud of you for learning your lessons well. It’ll be all right, you’ll see.” Haldir ruffled his hair and made to get up.

“Will you come back?” The question was softly voiced and stilled him immediately. “Ada never came back.”

Haldir’s heart rose to his throat and his chest tightened painfully. “Yes, Ru. I’ll come back. I’ll be back home before the snow comes.”

“So long? It’s spring, the trees just got flowers…” Rumil looked distressed and Haldir was quick to reassure him.

“It’s not so long. It’ll pass before you know it; you’ll be busy with school and helping Oro with Nana, won’t you? You’re going to have to tell me all about it when I get back, so it will be like I didn’t miss anything.”

He received a nod in return. “I promise I’ll be back, Ru.” He paused for half a beat before adding, “and I’ll bring presents home too.”

Bright eyes turned up to his. “Oh really? Like what?”

Hal laughed and got up from the bed. “Can’t tell, that would ruin the surprise. Now get to bed or you’re going to sleep through tomorrow.”

“Will not!”

“Then go to sleep.”

\------

 

Orophin was waiting for him in the main room, leaning against the wall, foot propped up against it. He looked very serious and Hal fought the feeling that he shouldn’t leave, this was too much to put on his brothers.

“Feet off the wall or it’ll leave a mark.” He himself didn’t care overly much, but no one ever knew what would set their mother off to clean the flet from top to bottom. They had to make her stop once; it was an unsettling experience that was best not repeated.

Orophin must have remembered because he dropped his foot quickly. “When are you leaving?”

“Three days from now, time to get everything in order and report to Hêvaer.” Haldir pulled out his sleep mat from the closet. “I asked for an advance, and payroll knows to give the following three months to Mother, so make sure she goes every fourth week. I’m going to leave the advance with you. If there’s any emergency, use it, and if it runs out, talk to Calen. He owes me some money anyway. Just – be careful with it.”

“I know,” Orophin said, irritated, then he sighed. “I’ve managed before with you on your shifts, I can do it with this too.”

“If you hadn’t been doing such a good job, I’d not be leaving at all,” Haldir admitted. “Thank you. I rely on you while I’m gone.”

Orophin shrugged. “It is what it is. You do more than me.”

There was a moment between them of silent understanding. No sense in complaining about their lot, it was their life, so it was best to just get on with it.

Haldir broke the quiet. “There’s a little extra in there, for your music teacher. Might be best that she meets you here and gives you lessons, so you don’t need to worry about how to manage it all.”

Orophin looked up at that, a smile brightening his face. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Haldir said. He knew how important music was to Orophin, and while it meant he’d hardly have any walking around money in Imladris, it was worth it to see what it meant to his brother.

They were in that awkward stage where hugging was considered unacceptable, so simple thanks were given. Orophin reached for his own mat and went into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

Haldir laid out his own mat in the corner of the main room. There wasn’t quite enough space for all four of them in the bedroom, so he slept there instead. It wasn’t terribly different from being out on his shift, and he didn’t mind. He’d just settled when he heard noise at the door and his mother opened it, coming into the room with a laundry sack in hand.

“Can I help, Nana?” he asked, preparing to rise.

“No, no. Stay, love. I’m fine. Faelien seems to have just doubled her family’s laundry. Those girls of hers run around with the boys and get as messy as you would back in the day.” She set it down on the table, he knew her work was set out for the next day.

He crossed his legs and watched her move around the flet, picking something up out of place and then moving it to elsewhere, still not where it belonged. “Well, I was a very active child.”

She laughed. “You were the closest thing I’ve seen to the fabled tales of the monkey creature. All grubby and climbing everywhere.”

“I’ve always been really curious.” Haldir allowed with a small smile on his face.

“I know, baby, that’s why you should go. You are going, aren’t you?” She fussed with the sack’s tie. it was easier to see when she was unsure these days, her nervous ticks increased and became worse. He stood up, off of the mat and joined her at the table, putting an arm around her.

“Not if you are unhappy, Nana. I’ll stay.”

“You can’t stay.” She looked up at him – Haldir still thought it was strange to look down at his mother – and he saw the toil that losing their father had on her. Her hair had lost some of its shine, the years sat more heavily. He wanted to protect her from everything. She must have noticed this, she smiled sadly and reached up and cupped his cheek. “You need to go. Not for me, or so things will be better here, but for you.”

Her eyes became distant as she said quietly, more to herself than to him, “And I will be all right. For the boys.”

“Nana –“

“No.” Her focus returned, steadily on him. “Trust me. I am your mother and I know this.” She was firm, and for a moment sounded like who she was before, as though none of the recent past had happened. “We’ll all be fine. You go, make me proud.”

Haldir remembered something Hêvaer told him once: one of the most important things was to know when to bend like the willow. Haldir knew when he was outmatched.


	2. Chapter 2

The days before the trip passed more quickly than he thought they would and he spent them making arrangements for his family and spending as much time with Rumil and Orophin as he could. The journey to Imladris passed faster still. Haldir supposed if he had traveled the route before it would have been different, but everything was new to him, every mark on the maps he’d studied now revealed in full, glorious detail. He committed them all to memory and promised himself this was going to be the first trip of many.

The journey wasn’t too different than being out on his patrols. The trails were well marked, the roads peaceful. Lady Celebrían was kind and pleasant, eager for home and seeing her children again. Haldir himself remembered their wedding vaguely, but he was very young at the time and the memories were just fragments of bright glass in a picture otherwise veiled in smoke.

It wasn’t until they arrived at the top of the gorge and looked out across the valley that Haldir realized how far away from home he was, that he was entering a realm he’d only heard of from stories and books. He greedily drank in the sight of the Last Homely House, tucked up against the mountainside, the town spreading out around it, the numerous waterfalls and thick wooded areas with swatches of farmland. It was a whole new world.

Their traveling party was greeted by Elrond and his children, with a few members of the staff as well. There was a flurry of greetings and talking, but he only heard snatches of conversation about the trip. His own attention was taken by Lord Glorfindel and an elf named Maergar, who he later learned to be one of Glorfindel’s captains.

He and the rest were instructed in where the barracks were, what time they were expected to be in the dining hall, and then the escort was split off into groups to be assigned housing. Hal joined his own faction, but he was too busy looking around the courtyard to partake in the excited talking amongst his fellows. It was all just different, the air smelled differently, the sound of the trees and the waterfalls, the accents and carvings and garb…it was exciting and overwhelming at the same time.

As he was taking it all in, his eyes fell on the twins, one of whom was standing back now with the staff, giving Arwen space to talk to her mother excitedly. Hal had a chance moment to look at him – tall and lithe but with strong shoulders coupled with long, dark hair and grey eyes. He favored the line of his father, of Luthien. Hal was always told this and now he believed the tales. Elrond’s son saw him looking, and he worried about being caught staring, but the elf just smiled and winked at him. He was left wondering how to respond, but there wasn’t time for anything before his group was called to leave. As he joined the rest, he only hoped that he hadn’t appeared half as puzzled as he felt.

\------

The dining hall was very busy that night, filled with people and a big meal to welcome Lady Celebrían home. Extra space was made for the warriors who had traveled with her; the table pulled out from storage would be there for some time still. Haldir and Ria, his roommate, were sitting on the thick oak benches and discussing the House’s layout. It wasn’t quite as complicated as they were expecting, most everything made sense. Haldir made the mistake of uttering that thought out loud and he heard a voice behind him laugh.

“Well, we do try to make things make sense. Though you can credit that to Erestor, he has a head for building design and worked on the blueprints.”

They both turned around and were faced again with one of the twins. He gave Haldir an appraising look and Haldir wondered if he was the same who had winked at him in the courtyard. He extended a hand in greeting and they took it in turns. “Elladan, son of Elrond.”

“Haldir, son of Caunor.”

“Ria, daughter of Pennad.”

“Welcome to Imladris,” Elladan smiled easily, something Haldir suspected he did often. “I’m stuck further up at the main table, but come to the Hall of Fire after you eat. I can promise you it’ll be worth it, Lindir’s playing and the company is good.”

Ria was uncharacteristically quiet and left Haldir to answer. “Thank you for the invitation,” he replied, wondering if Elladan was just this friendly and hospitable or if they had been singled out. “I’m sure we will.”

Elladan grinned and touched his shoulder. “Good,” he said, pleased, and left as quickly and easily as he had arrived.

Haldir’s eyes followed him as he left, in spite of himself. As Elladan joined his family, he looked away and shook his head. “What was that about? And why were you shutting up? You never do.”

When he looked over to Ria, she scrutinizing him closely. “Oh, I was just watching, that’s all. He has a very nice smile. And he’s definitely interested in some cross-cultural relations. Too bad it seems like I’m not who he’s interested in.”

Haldir rolled his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s rounding up guests for after dinner, is all. Lindir’s a very good musician, I hear.”

“If you say so. He looks intriguingly flexible to me, by the way.”

Involuntarily, Haldir looked across the room, seeking and finding Elladan. He caught a glimpse of him and unbidden, the thought of him naked and in pleasure came to mind.

“Caught you! You’re thinking about it.” She grinned mischievously and he reached in the breadbasket for a roll and threw it at her. She caught it deftly, with fork still in hand, and took a big bite out of it. “Why thank you, so kind.”

“Oh be quiet, Ria. It won’t be too hard to take a pillow to you when you go to bed tonight.”

“Do you promise? I like it rough.”

He shook his head, laughing.“Too much information, Ria, entirely too much information.”

\------

Elladan’s invitation was forgotten as the night continued. The wine was good, the food excellent and the day had been long. When the time came to move to the Hall of Fire, he begged off in favor of finding his bed. He was disappointed to end the night so early, but he knew there were several months ahead with plenty of opportunities.

He kicked his boots off, washed up and changed into a pair of sleep pants before crawling into bed. It was a strange sensation, just two to a room, proper beds and all, a far cry from a mat on the floor and the rest of his family a door away. It was too quiet and he wondered not for the first time how they were doing. He sent a prayer to Yavanna, asking that she take care of his family, before he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

\------

Training started soon after they settled in. The days were full, but the late afternoons and evenings were left free for them to do as they pleased. Haldir and his friends spent as much time as they could out exploring the surrounding forests, creeks and streams, learning the land. The busy days left him tired and seeking his bed early. With time the memory of Elladan settled in the back of his mind, pushed aside by the tasks set before him.

On one of his days off, he decided to stay closer to the town, remembering the promise he made to Rumil about presents. He had to ask for directions to the market, but everyone in Imladris was friendly and sympathetic to new visitors, so he was quickly directed there.

He began noticing the small trickle of traffic leading towards the center of the town, and once he drew closer, he could smell the pies and see the brightly-coloured crafts piled on several stall tables, hear the bustle of trade and haggling going on. He knew the contents of his purse were slim and he'd have to choose wisely, but he also knew he had to have one of the meat pies.

He examined the metalwork in one booth, listened to the owner point out some of the detailing in the work and was able to hold his own in the conversation - having Calen as a friend helped with that. He admired the craft, touching soft, new leather brilliantly tooled into a fine sword belt. It was beyond what he could pay, and he made himself compliment the maker and then leave. He went in search of where the heavenly scent came from, his nose guiding him. The rumbling of his stomach led him to the food stall set up near the gateway. Someone else had been of like mind - he found Elladan waiting at the end of the line.

Suddenly the invitation came back to him, the wink, the smile, and he forgot all about pies while he wondered what to do. He felt a bit embarrassed really, and briefly entertained the idea of turning around and heading back up to the House, but then Elladan caught sight of him and waved. He had no choice but to smile and raise a friendly hand before joining him.

"Hello there."

"Hello yourself,” Elladan smiled easily. "Haven't seen you for a while. Never came to the Hall of Fire, I noticed. I looked for you."

"I didn't make it to the Hall, no, it was a very long trip and I've been busy after." He realized he sounded defensive and a bit abrupt so he softened it with, "You looked for me? I didn't know."

"Would you have come if you did?" Elladan looked curiously at him and stepped closer. Hal felt an awareness of him entering his space, but it was exciting as much as unsettling.

"I - yes, yes, I think I would have."

"Good, then I shall expect to see you soon, won't I?" Elladan said, his reply quick and clever.

Haldir laughed. "Well, you've caught me there. I will have to make a point of going to the Hall of Fire now."

Elladan's look was both pleased and flirtatious. “Good, I’ll look for you.” The line had almost disappeared and Haldir pointed it out, so they moved forward and paid for their pies.

“Mind if I join you? I have an hour free and I’m in need of some company.” Elladan bit into his pie delicately, careful of the heat. Haldir waited for his to cool instead, not risking a burned tongue.

“Don’t mind at all, perhaps you could help me, even.”

“Of course, I’d be happy to. What are you in need of?”

Was there another layer to that question or was Haldir just imagining it? “I’m sure you could help me with several things,” he said, feeling his way into the flirtation. “But I was looking for a gift for my younger brother.”

“Well, let me help you with this, and then we’ll see what else I can do.”

\------

Elladan and Haldir wandered through the market place looking over the offerings. It was a very different experience than Haldir going by himself; Elladan knew most of the people, or at the very least, knew of them. He was introduced to many of the stall owners, and Elladan at first included little stories about previous encounters with them in years before, but when they started retaliating with stories of their own, he backed off quickly. Haldir found himself teasing Elladan about it, and Elladan took it well and with a sense of humor.

"All right, we were spoiled in a lot of ways when we were young. But not really - it was difficult to get away with any sort of prank because everyone knew you and where you lived and who your parents were. Sometimes it was like having a big houseful of extra parents. There wasn't quite enough room to be holy terrors."

Haldir looked at him, chuckling. "Not that you didn't try your best, I'm sure?"

Elladan flashed a smile at him, "Of course I did." Then he continued more seriously, "But I did grow up, and being the son of Elrond has its responsibilities. We're always in the public eye, so there's not too much room for error, or it'll be the topic of many peoples' discussion."

"Cannot be young forever, at some point you grow up and realize there are responsibilities and duties and bonds to family and the people around you," Haldir agreed. They were standing by one of the stalls waiting for the owner to come back and while they were talking they looked through the wares on the table. He was a wood carver, and he had a variety of bowls, cups and figurines.

"I always wanted to learn this, my father had a hand for it," Haldir picked up a wolf, the wood carved into a beautiful animal, fur touched by the wind. "Don't have a lot of time for it anymore, but I've dabbled in it still. He's a craftsman, this is stunning."

"Draugon is very good. He traveled with Gildor for a time before settling his roots here. He's a carpenter as well, he helped build the east wing of the House," Elladan told him. "I like his animals, they aren't quite like anything else, you can tell he has a fondness for them."

Haldir set the wolf down, looking through the figurines and smiling. "Yes, I'd have guessed myself......oh!" Just beyond two cats and a pig, he found a little beech carving of a frog, sitting contentedly on a lily pad. He was painted as well, with careful hands and an eye for detail.

Elladan looked over his shoulder, curious. "Oh, he's nice. You like frogs?"

"I can take them or leave them. But Ru loves them. He spent one day trying to imitate one, would only chirp and try to leap everywhere. We were concerned he'd try jumping off the flet." Haldir shook his head. "He's an adventurous one."

"He sounds like someone who's going to do brave things one day," Elladan commented.

"I think so, but he's young still. Plenty of time to grow and turn my hair white first."

Draugon came back and Haldir asked for the frog. It was not inexpensive, but he knew the amount of time and love that went into it, and also he could already imagine the look on Rumil's face when he got it. He left Draugon and his goods with the frog wrapped in cloth and with Elladan as well. It was a good day. He had already picked up little gifts for his mother and Orophin, but Rumil's gift had eluded him.

He felt a touch on his shoulder and he met Elladan's eyes. "It's almost dinner time. I need to be back at the house before 'Rohir gets sent to search for me." Elladan's hand stayed on his shoulder too long after getting his attention for it to be casual. "But I'd like to see you again. Will you take me up on the Hall of Fire invitation, or must I come find you again?"

Haldir felt embarrassed, and if he blushed then, he knew he'd die. "Well, flattering as that might be, it’s probably past time I experienced the Hall of Fire." There, he thought, sounds reasonable, not fawning.

"Good." Elladan removed his hand, and Haldir felt the lack of it distinctly. "I'll look for you then."

\------

Hal returned back to his sleeping quarters and tucked the frog away with the rest of his gifts inside the chest at the foot of his bed. He washed up and then heard the bells for dinner, but he wasn’t hungry, and he knew Ria would cover for him if he didn’t show up. He checked for clean clothing and changed into a nicer tunic and pants that his mother said made him look very good. Then he left his room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Imladris's halls were a sight to behold in their own right; there were paintings, statues and tapestries, mostly done by the artists of the community and commissioned or donated to the House. There were little reading nooks and balconies that overlooked gardens and waterfalls. It was vastly different than what Haldir knew, gorgeous and breathtaking. He spent dinnertime exploring the west wing, and when it grew dark, he knew he needed to go down and find his way to the Hall of Fire.

He'd heard many things about it - a grand hall with a fire that never went out, a place of studies by day and filled by night with singing, tales and dancing. It sounded like a wonderful place to be, and when Haldir found the great wooden doors open and the sounds of people and music, he believed everything he had heard.

His fellow Lorien elves were there, much of the House staff and of course Elrond and his family. Haldir looked for Elladan and found him, sitting with his brother and sister, drinking wine and talking. He was uncertain about joining them, but an invitation was an invitation, so he charmed a glass of wine off one of the serving girls and made his way to where they sat, a couch with embroidered pillows tucked into one of the corners of the room with a good view of the proceedings.

He felt three pairs of eyes on him as he made his way over. It was a little intimidating, but he was stubborn and they looked interested when they saw him approach.

“Haldir, it’s good to find you here at last,” Elladan said, with a hint of a private smile. It encouraged Haldir greatly. “Brother, sister – this is Haldir, one of Grandfather’s up-and-coming wardens.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Arwen replied warmly, extending a hand. “My brother has spoken very well of you.”

Haldir took her hand and lightly kissed the back of it. “Lady Arwen, you’ve broken many a Lorien elf’s heart already. I can see why.”

She laughed, and looked at Haldir from under her lashes. “So charming! You’re welcome here any time.” Over her shoulder, she told Elladan, “You normally don’t have such nice taste in new friends.”

Elrohir snickered while Elladan spluttered. “Well, ‘Wen, you really don’t want to go there. We know your choices in dates.”

“Don’t mind them,” Arwen said brightly, patting the seat between her and Elladan, “Come. Join us.”

“Yes, do. Ignore my siblings, they mean well, at least.” Elladan rolled his eyes.

Haldir grinned. “Oh, siblings I understand.”

\------

The night wore on and Haldir found himself enjoying the company of Elrond’s progeny. The intimidation took a little time to wear off. but they put him at ease and they had a fun banter and insightful commentary on the evening. He learned bits of gossip and Imladrian history, and they were all well served with wine and spiced treats, though Haldir noticed that they were as careful with their wine intake as he was. These were children of a royal line, born and raised into duty and image.

Elladan was a distraction, his breath warm on Haldir’s cheek as he leaned in to make some observation or share a witticism. They touched occasionally almost by chance, nothing obvious or improper, but Elladan would look at him and the grey eyes held something more than just coincidence. Arwen and Elrohir noticed, but didn’t say anything. Elrohir seemed used to it, but Arwen held a thoughtful look. When she realized Haldir noticed, she flashed a quick smile and then the expression disappeared.

Haldir felt warmth creep up on him: from Elladan, from the wine, from the heat of the room. He began to feel lightheaded, so he made his excuses to the three. Resisting their urgings to stay, he said maybe some fresh air would do him good. Most everyone were either finishing up work before night’s end or in the Hall of Fire, so as he walked the hallways to his quarters, he was passed only by a few people. He felt a bit better, the breeze through the open windows helping.

He’d only gone so far before he heard quick footsteps behind him. He kept going, thinking they would just continue on their way, but as the footsteps drew closer, his name was called. “Haldir?”

Surprised, he turned to face Elladan. “Elladan! What are you doing here? You didn’t have to leave.”

“I know I didn’t,” Elladan shrugged, “but you left earlier than I expected and I wondered if it was because of me.”

Startled, Haldir didn’t know how to answer that. He decided to just go with the truth, it’s what he dealt with best, anyway. “It’s been a long day and the wine was going to my head, I didn’t want to make a fool of myself. And I don’t know what this…” he gestured between himself and Elladan, “…is.”

Elladan frowned. “Does it need a definition? We’re attracted to each other. Or – I’m attracted to you and I think the feeling is mutual. I could be wrong, of course. If I am, please tell me now.”

Haldir leaned against the hallway wall, eyes on the face before him, and then looked around. He didn’t want his private life public to the gossip grapevine he’d just been learning about. “I – yes. I’m attracted.” He reminded himself of going with the truth. “I haven’t had much experience though …” He missed Calen right now, he’d have given advice in what to do. Of course it probably just would have been to tell him to shut up and kiss him. “…and I don’t know what to expect.”

“You seem like someone experienced a lot already,” Elladan stepped closer, and the added nearness felt a bit like making their own private world. “I assumed…”

“I know how it all works,” Haldir replied quickly, defensive. “I just – haven’t had much time and opportunity for practical application.”

Elladan smiled, warmly, not mockingly - which was good because at the first sign of mocking or patronizing Haldir would have been out of there – and offered, “I’d be happy to help with that, if you’d like?”

Haldir thought about it, but all the reasons he’d have said no at home for didn’t apply. Elladan was standing there, and Haldir wanted him, wanted to know what it would be like. There really was nothing holding him back. So he let himself reach for Elladan, stepping forward, a hand going to Elladan’s side, the other touching the fine, silky hair he had wondered about. “Yes. Yes, I’d like that.”

He watched Elladan check to make sure they were alone, then he was faced with the fullness of Elladan’s smile and he felt an arm go around him. “I’d have hated it if you’d said no.”

“Good thing I didn’t,” Haldir laughed quietly, then brought their lips together, moving closer and drawing Elladan nearer with the fingers he had tangled in dark hair. Elladan’s lips were warm and tasted of wine; he smelled of the wood smoke from the fire, earthy and grounded. Haldir took and Elladan offered, giving of himself and letting Haldir explore. He closed his eyes and felt heat curl in his belly.

He shifted, turning them both around, pressing Elladan against the wall. Elladan grunted at the shift but then he laughed and it didn’t stop him for more than a moment from continuing kissing. Haldir felt fingers in his hair, messing his braid, and they broke for air, foreheads pressing against each other’s. They stood there, catching their breath, small kisses to open mouths, before they heard a group of people coming from the Hall.

They froze and moved apart quickly, smoothing hair and ruffled clothing. Haldir tucked a lock of hair behind Elladan’s ear, as Elladan straightened Haldir’s tunic.

“Meet you tomorrow?” Haldir said, rushed. “In the courtyard, afternoon?”

“Yes,” Elladan nodded, taking a deep breath and projecting calm. “I’ll be there. We can take horses out and I’ll show you some of the sights.”

Haldir laughed. “Oh, I’m sure you will.”


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next few weeks there were a lot of sights to be seen, though when Haldir looked back, he could hardly remember them all. All his spare time was spent learning about Elladan and Imladris. They rode through the town and out to the forests, Elladan showing him some of the trails leading into the Valley. They were all guarded, the legacy of the siege, but when Elladan took him they were allowed through and their horses picked their way up the trail to the top of the cliffs overlooking the valley.

They stopped and took in the view. Their break started innocently enough, but quickly devolved into kisses, which lingered and turned into more. The sun was slowly sinking by the time they stopped. Their horses grazed in the vicinity as they lay on the ground, their saddle bags for pillows, and watched the sunset.

“I was meant to be back in time for dinner, you know.” Elladan remarked idly, head comfortably resting on Haldir’s shoulder. “I suspect you were too.”

Haldir played with dark hair, picking a leaf out of it. “They won’t send out a search party, will they?”

“There’ll be some questions for both of us when we get back,” Elladan looked up at Haldir, “but I doubt a search party, haven’t had one sent out for me in years.”

“Oh? You’ve had a search party after you before?” Haldir asked, running fingers along his smooth, tanned neck.

Elladan leaned into the touch. “Once. Rohir and I went exploring when we were younger. Managed to get ourselves thoroughly lost. Father came out with Glorfindel and warriors to search the forest. We’d given up and thought we’d be spending the night in the forest. It was cold, I was tired and scared and unbelievably embarrassed when they found us.”

“You’ve got a healthy dose of pride – I can sympathize, got plenty of it myself.”

“It’s something we have in common, isn’t it?” Elladan laughed. “I told Father it would never happen again. I asked Glorfindel to take me out and teach me how not to lose my way again, and we spent a couple of months over the summer with him teaching me the valley.”

“Determined and resourceful. I like that.” Haldir looked up at the sky, the clouds and sun a burst of warm, multi-hued colours. There was quiet for a time, and when Haldir glanced back down, he saw Elladan looking at him thoughtfully. “What? Did I forget to comb my eyebrows or something?”

Elladan burst out laughing. “No, not at all. Though they are nicely full and thick,” he added with a touch of wickedness.

“You talk like it’s about something else. But I don’t recall you having full experience of that particularly.” Haldir grinned.

“Give me time,” Elladan retorted. He drew himself up with a hand on the saddlebags and looked down at Haldir, who moved to sit up with him. Elladan placed his hand on his chest in response. “No, stay. I want to ask you a question.”

“Hmm?” Haldir made a low questioning noise, eyes on Elladan’s face. He was relaxed, Elladan’s hand was warm, his look warmer, and Haldir found himself wishing the night lasted longer than it would.

“What happened?”

It was quietly asked, non-invasive. Haldir still tensed, before he willed himself to relax again. He knew Elladan felt it, but said nothing, only touching him gently.

“How do you mean?” He returned with a question, giving himself a little more time.

“You’re a study in contrasts, Hal. Self reliant and experienced, no nonsense when it comes to important things. But with this…” Elladan moved his hand to rest over Haldir’s heart, “….you’re uncertain of yourself, still learning. And I find it hard to believe that someone hasn’t come along to sweep you away.”

“I don’t have time to be swept away.” Haldir shrugged. “I still don’t, but this – this just is. For a time. My family needs me, I have responsibilities that take priority over what I want. We live in very different worlds, Dan, but that’s one area where I think we understand each other well.”

“Yes,” Elladan replied, simply. “It is what I was born into, though I’ve been blessed with parents who want me to be as happy with my life as I can and have given me space to just – be.”

“I’d envy you, but it’s a waste of emotion.” Haldir sat up and Elladan moved so they could sit together comfortably. “My father died,” he said, and the words hung out in the air for a moment. He heard Elladan’s intake of breath, and he knew Elladan was experiencing that moment of uncomfortable realization. He’d seen it before countless times in Lorien when he said as much. “My mother has never been the same since, and my brothers are young. It fell on me to do what was necessary. Not much time for a lover, not much space for one.”

Elladan nodded slowly, and Haldir felt a warm hand on his thigh, offering comfort. “That explains much. How…?”  
“…did he pass? He was sent on a fact-finding trip, rumours of stragglers in Eregion.”

Elladan leaned forward, interest clear. “Yes, I recall something about that. Grandmother spoke in one of her letters of welcoming Eregion refugees to Lorien. I believe several also came to Imladris. They were doing really poorly, Father said it was good that they were found. But – several members of the team were lost.”

“It had been a hard winter, which ended too quickly. The thaw led to a mudslide, swept down from the mountains. My father and two others didn’t escape it in time.”

“That’s horrible,” Elladan said finally, after a moment of silence. “And your mother…?”

“It was really very sudden, we’ve had peace and – Lorien has been spared from most natural disasters. At least – at least during wartime, you know you could lose those who go. This – she wasn’t prepared for the outcome. In any way, shape or form.”

“Why didn’t she sail?”

“Didn’t want to leave us behind, and Orophin found the thought of Valinor scary – Rumil was too young to know what to think.”

“And you?” Elladan asked, quietly.

“It’s not my home.” Haldir said, “I’ll cross the sea some day and see my father again, but – I’m meant to be here.” He wasn’t sure where the surety came from, but he knew he was right in this. He stood up, offering Elladan his hand. “Come, we need to get back. You may know Imladris like the back of your hand, but I don’t feel up to groping my way around in the dark.”

Elladan rose, holding Haldir’s hand longer than necessary. They stood together for a moment of quiet companionship, before moving apart to gather their things. Haldir mounted his horse and watched Elladan do the same. He waited until Elladan was settled before saying, “Thank you.”

Elladan looked up from taking his reins. “For what?” he said, bemused.

“For this evening.” Haldir was unused to being this forthcoming about what he was feeling, but he knew it needed to be said. “For sweeping me away.”

Elladan’s mouth slowly drew into a full smile. “It’s my pleasure, Hal.”

\------

Summer carried on, and the days they spent together passed by too quickly. Haldir would get homesick sometimes, but Elladan was often there with things to do, or armed with distracting kisses. They spent time with Elrohir and Arwen as well, the three of them were quite close and Haldir appreciated that. Haldir wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to talking to Lord Elrond and Lady Celebrian, however, and the first time he was introduced to them by Dan, he thought he was going to be ill. But there was no disapproval, no judgment from either of Elladan’s parents, and Haldir slowly relaxed in their welcoming presence.

He wrote letters to his family and paid the fee to send them whenever a messenger left for Lorien. He went a long time without hearing anything in return, but finally an elf came back with messages for him. He waited until after dinner to read them, then Elladan invited him to his rooms and Haldir accepted. He liked Ria, but Elladan had his rooms to himself. Especially after Elrohir walked in on them – his habit of going in Elladan’s room without warning changed quickly after that. Arwen was more intuitive – she always knocked. Haldir thought sometimes girls were just smarter.

“Who sent them?” Elladan sprawled out on his bed, propping his head up with an elbow and watching Haldir.

Haldir settled on the bed beside Elladan and pulled the paper out of the leather satchel. He checked the handwriting on each. “Calen and….” His face broke into a smile, “Ru. Look at his handwriting.”

Elladan looked over his shoulder. “Well it’s much better than mine at his age. Our teacher almost resigned over my handwriting. Calen? Who is he?”

“Best friend,” Haldir said absently, reading. “And I’ve seen your handwriting, it’s very good.”

“Damn well better be, after all the hours I put into it. Father said I at least needed legible writing if I was going to take over in his stead someday.” Elladan kissed the side of Haldir’s neck. “Is everything well?”

“Yes, thank Yavanna. He writes that my mother is well and my brothers are doing a good job of making sure everything’s done in my absence.” The knot, formed in his chest when he saw he had news of home, loosened with relief. “And Rumil told me all about school and asked me when I’m coming home.”

“Too soon,” Elladan said softly.

Haldir turned toward him, raising his arm and bringing it around Elladan’s shoulders. “I know. Time’s passing quickly.”

He watched Elladan determinedly smile. “Well then, let’s make the best of it.”

Framing his face with a hand, Haldir held him closely, memorizing how Elladan felt in his arms. Elladan was strong, handsome and kind – he didn’t think there would be anyone else like him. Some of that must have showed on his face because Elladan’s smile softened and he leaned in, kissing Haldir. Their mouths met and Haldir’s grip on him tightened, fingers winding in his hair as he kissed him back passionately. 

He felt Elladan rub up against him and he broke their kiss long enough to laugh. “You’re insatiable!”

“No, I’m young,” Elladan said cheekily. “And you’re incredibly hot. That’s about all I need. And,” he reached down and cupped Haldir between his legs, “this says you feel the same.”

Haldir groaned and reached for Elladan’s wrist, but once there, he didn’t remove Elladan’s hand. Instead he rocked into the touch. Elladan smiled, kissing his bottom lip and giving a small nip. “You weren’t planning on going anywhere tonight, were you?”

“No, not going anywhere at all,” Haldir said breathlessly. “Not if you keep doing that.”

“Thought not.” Elladan’s reply was distinctly smug.

Haldir pushed him down on the bed, gently but firmly and put his messages on the little table by Elladan’s bed. “You’re a royal brat,” he told Elladan, before covering him with his own body and silencing any means of protest for now and a good while later.

\------

The leaves began turning as autumn began. The vibrant greens of the forest turned to deep reds, rich oranges and earthy browns. It was unlike any autumn Haldir had ever seen, breathtaking and beautiful, and it was welcomed bitter sweetly. He knew his training drew to an end and his return trip home was coming closer with each passing day. He both longed for the day and wished it wouldn’t come. He missed home, but here he had found something just for himself, a world of his own, shared with Elladan.  
Elladan didn’t speak of him leaving, it stood between them, noticed but unremarked. He didn’t know what could be said, they both knew how this would end. The same things that Haldir believed drew them together so tightly kept them apart – love of their home, love of family, duty and honour.

Haldir endured Ria’s teasing when he moved his things from their shared room to Elladan’s, but it was worth it. In addition to the pleasure of Elladan’s company, there was a little balcony off the side of his rooms and Haldir had fallen in love with it. He greeted the dawn out there, Elladan often waking and joining him, standing together in the coolness of the morning. He had taken Elladan there, on the balcony floor, blanket hastily shoved underneath them, dark hair spread out against the grey stones, legs wrapped around his waist, fingers threaded through his own. 

He stood there now on the eve of his departure as dusk fell. Haldir wasn’t able to leave the dining hall early, he was with his friends and fellow company members that night, but he and Elladan exchanged looks. Without verbal communication both slipped out as everyone moved to the Hall of Fire. Haldir made it to the rooms sooner than Elladan did. He didn’t know why, he was sure Dan knew every passageway and shortcut, known or otherwise secret, but it gave him time to absorb the quietness of the room.

He had made so many memories here. His belongings had slowly mixed in with Elladan’s, he learned to be comfortable with Elladan’s family, and he finally understood the rhythm in which Imladris moved, so different from his own home. But now he was packed up, Elladan’s bedroom was back to the way it was before. He wondered what Elladan’s future looked like now, if he would meet someone after Haldir left, what his own future would be like.

He was too lost in his thoughts to notice when Elladan came in, but he felt strong arms around him and a warm presence at his back. His hand grasped Elladan’s forearm and drew him around front, to Haldir’s sight.

“Took you long enough,” he said lightly. 

Elladan smiled at him and slid his arms around Haldir’s neck. “I needed to get something. Miss me?” 

“Of course. Miss you already.” Haldir leaned in and kissed him, tenderly but with an underlying knowledge of this being the last night. Elladan held onto him tighter, making a quiet noise in his throat.

“No, not now, not yet.”

Haldir instinctively moved to follow him when Elladan drew away and stopped himself. “No? Why not?”

“Because I have a gift.” Elladan pointed to a package on the bed that Haldir was sure hadn’t been there before. He moved to sit on the bed and touched the wrappings. It looked to be the most expensive gift Haldir had ever received. It wasn’t gaudy, but it was in the small things – the wrapping cloth was green silk, and it was tied with a silver ribbon. He could only imagine what was underneath.

“I can’t accept it, Dan,” he said very quietly. He felt keenly embarrassed, there was nothing left of his spending money and he wasn’t expecting this. “I have no gift for you.”

“I don’t need a gift in return, I just wanted to give this to you.” Elladan looked puzzled.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking about farewell gifts…” Haldir felt a headache come on. It must have showed because Elladan quieted. Finally after some thought, he said, “You’ll come again to Imladris, won’t you?”

“Yes? But I don’t know when or for how long… there’s no way of knowing.” It was the reality of what lay between them, and they both knew it.

“You’ll be back some day. Or, more likely, I’ll be making a trip to Lorien to see my grandparents. You can give me your gift when you see me.”

“I don’t know what my life will look like by then,” Haldir told him bluntly. There were no great loves on his horizon that he knew of, but he was sure making ties between them was foolish, they lived in different worlds. Elladan would meet someone and life would go on. It hurt, but it was what it was.

“Nor I mine,” Elladan said, honesty between them. “No promises between us, there’s too much distance. Just a gift when next we meet. Something that makes you think of me like this makes me think of you.”

Haldir nodded, feeling a little better, though the embarrassment lingered still. At Elladan’s urging he opened the gift, moving silk away to reveal the wolf carving he had admired during their market day. It was as stunning as when he first saw it. The wolf sat back on his haunches, howling at an imaginary moon as the wind ruffled his fur. The wood was walnut, stained a dark rich brown.

“Dan, it’s gorgeous. Thank you.” He touched the carving, looked at it from all angles. “The knife work is amazing.” He didn’t say he had seen it and wanted it, but never would have bought it for himself. He thought perhaps Elladan knew that. “Why a wolf?” he asked curiously.

“Because you’re self-reliant but part of a pack, like they are. And bristly to people you don’t know,” Elladan grinned, “but very loyal to those you do know and care for.” 

“Guilty as charged,” Haldir smiled. “Thank you, I will treasure it.”

Elladan moved closer. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think. Really did have no expectations of a gift and I’m not upset at all you didn’t get me one.” 

“I know. It’s just – maybe I’m bad at receiving gifts,” Haldir shrugged, and Elladan lay back on the bed, smiling up at him. “Yes, I think you are. In fact, I think you should practice.”

Haldir set the carving and the silk on the nightstand. “How would I do that?”

Elladan stretched out on the bed and gave him a heated look. “Unwrap me.”

\------

Haldir saw the Lorien forest stretching out before him and he knew he was home. He felt like he was coming back as a better person, more complete in himself. He had his family to protect and love and provide for, but he also had something that was his alone, a summer filled with adventures, laughter and sex, grey eyes and a wicked smile. Lying together in the dark, waiting for the sunrise and the journey, he had promised Elladan he’d never forget him. They weren’t empty words. Elladan meant very much to him. He opened a world for Haldir that he wouldn’t have had the time or the space for and made him feel more confident, more sure of himself.

The last leg of the journey went by almost in a blur. Looking back on the trip, all he would remember was noting the golden leaves signaling full autumn and then seeing his family again. They were gathered at the first post within the city limits, his mother standing there with Rumil on her hip and Orophin beside her. Orophin had grown another couple of inches – Haldir figured he’d be the tallest of the family very soon. Rumil wriggled down from his mother’s grip as soon as Haldir dismounted.

“You’re back, you came back!” Rumil said happily, hugging him around his legs.

“Yes, Ru, I promised I would.” He hoisted Rumil up in his arms and hugged him, Rumil throwing his arms around his neck. He saw out of the corner of his eye his mother inconspicuously wipe away a tear, but when her glance met his, she was smiling. Orophin noticed as well, bringing a hand to her shoulder.

“Did you bring me presents?” Haldir was distracted from his mother by Rumil’s blunt question.

“Rumil!” his mother said sharply, but couldn’t quite suppress the smile.

“Yes, Ru, of course I have presents. I have a present for everyone.”

“Oh good,” Rumil replied contentedly, leaning his head on Haldir’s shoulder.

“Did you enjoy your trip?” Orophin asked with clear interest. “What was it like?”

“Exciting? Imladris is really a wonderful place. I met Lord Elrond and talked to Lady Celebrian and their children too…”

“Oh my,” his mother said, raising a hand to her mouth. “Well, you need to tell us about that over dinner. Oro, help him with his bags, Ru - he’s had a long journey, get down.”

“No!” Rumil hugged Haldir tighter and Haldir shook his head. “It’s all right, Nana, but Ru, next time your mother asks you to do something, you need to do it.”

“Sorry.”

Between the four of them, they gathered up Haldir’s belongings. Ria took the reins of Haldir’s horse and said she’d stable him. He thanked her gratefully and they started to head to their flet.

Haldir was home. He’d tell them about his adventures and a little about Elladan, but the full knowledge was something too precious to share, too close to the bone still. He would keep it for himself, something to remember and smile over. He had a gift to find as well. No promises, he understood that. The future remained unknown. But at the very least, he’d gained a summer lover and a friend in the most unlikely of places.

_Finis_

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Slashy Santa's AinA swap 2011. Also my first multipart! :D  
> Beta: Keiliss


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